Oh, so you want coffee… but without me?
That’s like saying you love music but hate sound.
It makes zero sense.
Look, I get it. Some people say they “love the taste” of coffee but don’t want the kick.
Blasphemy.
I am the magic. The power. The reason you even function before noon.
And yet, some of you are out here drinking decaf like it’s a totally normal thing to do.
It’s not.
Why Would You Do This?
Do you enjoy removing joy from your life?
Would you order a cocktail without alcohol?
A pizza without cheese?
A doughnut without the hole? (Okay, maybe that one’s fine.)
Decaf is coffee with zero purpose. No energy. No spark. Just sad, lifeless brown water.
I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.
The Lies They Tell You About Decaf
They’ll tell you it “tastes the same.”
Wrong.
They’ll say it’s “better for you.”
Who told you that? A doctor? Pfft.
I’m literally packed with antioxidants, brain-boosting powers, and life-changing motivation.
Removing me doesn’t make coffee “healthier.” It just makes it pointless.
Drink Coffee Like It Was Meant to Be
You want real coffee? The kind that wakes you up and makes your taste buds sing?
Then drink the good stuff.
Like this fresh-roasted Ethiopian coffee ☕️—where I’m alive and kicking, just the way nature intended.
👉 Grab a bag before I disown you.
Or go all in. Never run out. Keep me in your life forever.
👉 Get a coffee subscription.
Final Thoughts on This Decaf Nonsense
If you must drink decaf, fine.
Just don’t tell me about it.
I’ll be over here, with the real coffee lovers. The ones who know that a cup of Ethiopian organic coffee isn’t just a drink—it’s a lifeline.
Stay caffeinated,
Caffeine ☕️